Dressing Hot Dogs

Every now and then we’ll hear from those in need of golden advice. We’re just happy to be in a position to help when someone needs assistance. This week we heard from someone needing clarification for dressing their hot dogs to settle a dispute, and we thought we’d share it in case there are more who are wondering the same thing but afraid to ask.

Dear Mrs. Mustard:

Please settle a dispute between a co-worker and myself. What is the proper way to put mustard on a hot dog? Length-wise (parallel to the bun) or in a criss-crossed pattern, working your way up the hot dog (thus ensuring even distribution of mustard in each bite, as opposed to an upper lip & nose full of mustard)? Can you help us? — Heather Sowerbutts (parts unknown)

Dear Heather: This one is easy. You’re both right. Sort of. The correct way to dress a hot dog is a two-step process: (1) a length-wise squirt of mustard in the bottom of the bun onto which the hot dog rests, then (2) make a perfect width-wise squiggle along the hot dog.

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