Much Ado About Stains

Mustard stains are in the news, at least in West Des Moines (Iowa). According to a story in the Des Moines Register, an area school district will spend an additional $95,000 for new cafeteria flooring at the West Valley High School because the flooring originally ordered will not resist mustard stains.

Mistakes happen but the most disturbing part of this story is the misguided comment of school board member J.H. who reportedly said, “It would be cheaper to ban mustard.”

Outlaw mustard??? As everyone knows, “When mustard is outlawed, only outlaws will eat mustard.” But it’s more serious than that. That $95,000 would be quickly offset by lower student test scores that will surely come about if kids are deprived of the golden sauce. Morale and discipline will also suffer if the children are forced into ketchup and mayo only.

Most importantly, if there is mustard on the floor, why is it a “stain?” Celebrate it, treat it as Badge of Honor. Cherish the King of Condiments, as we do every day at the National Mustard Museum.

We are glad to learn that cooler heads have prevailed and that mustard will not be banned in the West Valley High School Cafeteria. What’s your community’s mustard story?

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