“Cut It Out!”

If you subscribe to our newsletter, you know that we have been reporting on the upcoming marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton and its connection to the National Mustard Museum and, more specifically, our regal event, “An Evening of Mustard Royalty”. Well, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, is not amused.

The Curator recently received the following letter from Buckingham Palace:

Sir: The House of Windsor will no longer tolerate your unauthorized and frivolous use of the upcoming marriage of my grandson and what’s-her-name in the marketing of your absurd museum. Did I exploit YOUR marriage to the beauteous Patti Raskin back in 1998? I should say not.

And stop sending me those sumptuous mustards. As much as I enjoy them, I seem to be dribbling them onto my imperial chin. That has prompted many of my subjects to mock me. Mocking a monarch is no minor matter. Indeed, I have found such unseemly behavior to be a royal pain (if you get my drift) in the patushie.

Most regally yours,

The Curator responds: We will abide by Her Majesty’s wishes.

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