Friends Don’t Let Friends…

… eat k*****p. Sounds obvious, but there’s still many who need to be reminded. This t-shirt will help you do just that. They are regularly $16.00 BUT through September 18, they are insanely priced at and can be your for only $11.88.

You need this t-shirt as a public service reminder to all you hold near and dear.

In other news, to honor Labor Day, I’ve put together this laborious piece of poetry, part of my forthcoming A Book of Poem.

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How moist is the grass at suncrack?
How wet is the tear on your cheek?
How humid is Sunday (and Monday)?
How soaked is a field full of dreams?
How drippy is your paÕs golden faucet?
How damp is a mop that did its job well?
How oozy is that slice of tart lemon pie?
How dewy is Huey in St. Louis?
How slimy is a bowl of okra?
How runny is the mustard on your dog?
How clammy is Uriah’s handshake?
How watery is the Captain’s cold grave?
How soggy is the ground beneath us?
How muggy is paradise these days?

I want to measure these things.
I want to know how wet is wet.
I want numbers.
I want precision in all things liquid.

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