From time to time, we are asked to offer our advice to help with life’s little issues. When they’re mustard related, we feel more than qualified:
Dear Mrs. Mustard:
Whenever I go to lunch with my very proper lady friends, they always ask for mayonnaise on their cucumber and watercress sandwiches (on white bread). I know this is so condimentally incorrect but I feel funny saying anything to them. They are, after all, well-established in the community and I am just a young social climber. But I know that mustard is the only condiment to use. What should I say? — Wilma Personavia (San Mateo, CA)
Dear Wilma: You don’t have to say a thing. Lead them by example. Just pull out a big salami sandwich on rye and douse it with that bottle of squeeze horseradish mustard you have tucked away in your faux DKNY purse. They will surely admire your sassiness. If they insist on their cucumber and watercress sandwich, gently suggest that they try a good curry mustard or any of our herb-veggie mustards. — Mrs. Mustard
